An Epiphany About "The One" & The Unexpected Peace That Followed

    It's no revolutionary statement to note the distinct differences between an unmarried male and an unmarried female. He's a playboy; this is something he's elected for himself. She, on the other hand, is an old maid that no man wants. Despite the obviously unequal connotations of these tropes (of which an entirely different essay can be written), they each have something in common; Both parties are somehow "deviating from the norm". They are the exception to the overwhelming rule of marriage, the lone wolves in the face of what one is supposed to want; A Great, Romantic, Lifelong Love.
    Not to say that kind of love isn't grand or worth wanting, just that in a day and age where 43 percent of all Americans over the age of 18 are single and 61% of single Americans have never been married, one might reasonably propose that not everybody has or even wants a "One". The very idea that it is necessary for adult happiness to find a perfectly matched life partner is one that was instilled in times where reproduction was the main goal in a life that hardly extended beyond the mid 30's.
    I'm not suggesting that anyone is wrong for hoping to find a One True Love or that it's unrealistic to find it. What I am suggesting is that maybe there isn't "someone for everyone", and more importantly, maybe that isn't a bad thing. The search for someone to be the eternal Ying to your Yang is exhausting and nerve-wracking unless you're lucky enough to find your soulmate before having thoroughly cleared puberty. The superhuman standards we often set in anticipation of our perfect partner often lead to varying levels of disappointment and the feeling that one has 'settled'. I don't want to feel the need to entertain an endless string of dull propositions during dates or settle for someone I don't genuinely care about for the fear that they'll be the best offer I get or that my life will be lacking without a long-term love.
    If the Love of your Life finds you, then go for it. But anxiously prepping for their arrival or chasing the obsession down rocky paths is going to cause you to waste the gift that you have now in actually living for yourself and the people that exist in your life presently. If we let go and stop desperately anticipating, measuring against others and trying to convince ourselves that "someone is out there for us" or that it's necessary to even HAVE a someone to have a fulfilled existence, the only pressure that's left is to satisfy the standards for a happy life that you have created yourself. Who says that the "One that's out there for you" isn't you? That you haven't already found your One? I may die having had a beautiful marriage, or several, or I may leave this world a sassy old bachelorette. But now that I realized how unimportant having a soulmate is, I can concentrate on the earth I inhabit and the beautiful people that exist in the present like family or may float in and out of my life like lovers and friends. Most importantly though, I know that I can always count on being able to cultivate my most important relationship; the one that I have with myself.