Why This Graphic Is Bullcocky (& Implications of Girl-Hate)

Let’s dismantle this, shall we?

1) The fact that your best friend identifies as a man does NOT mean they are obligated to give up their clothing (Why didn’t YOU bring a jacket? Did you ever think…I don’t know..they might be cold as well?). A person’s gender does not make it their responsibility to stick up for you or carry you or give you things; BEING A GOOD FRIEND is what makes them WANT to do those things.

2) You CANNOT “steal” someone’s partner. The person in the relationship has to leave of their own volition, which means either the relationship is on the out to begin with or the person in the relationship is not worth a damn if they can’t reject outside interests and you’re better off. If someone goes after a person you are interested in in order to hurt you, they are a SHITTY FRIEND and this is true no matter gender. That’s WITHOUT the fact that this list is ridiculously heteronormative.

3) This operates on sweeping generalizations, which is often problematic. I have had more male “best friends” than female, but doesn’t mean that I was spared of spilled secrets, gossip, two-facedness or mood swings. Have you MET teenage boys? Grown men will tell you that they have had their bros do any number of those things. Being a SHITTY friend is NOT unique to one gender or the other, just as being a GOOD friend is not exclusively a one gendered trait. Which leads me to…

4) All of these imply that if your best friend is NOT a man, they will do the opposite of the bulleted points. This is not only harmful to women in general, but assuming that the person who made this ridiculous graphic was a female, it is an insult to the creator herself. If women do all of these horrible things, and you are a woman, then OP’s logic follows that the creator of this graphic is also a horrible friend. In which case, what guy would WANT you as a shitty best friend?

4) What bothers me most about these implications is how it encourages girls to hate one another. “Don’t be friend with girls!” it says. “Don’t trust other girls! Don’t Unite!” because GOD ONLY KNOWS what could happen if women united and supported one another against our globally oppressive culture. Women are pitted against each other both by men and by OURSELVES. The constant comparison makes us bitter and we SABOTAGE OUR OWN friendships because of this jealousy and silent war. It’s the CONSTANT internal criticism of other girls’ bodies and personalities and for what? What good does it do? WE DO NOT IMPROVE OURSELVES BY TEARING OTHER WOMEN DOWN. It makes YOU look bad when you do it and you are only undermining yourself and your interests both in your personal life and on a large scale.